written Sabbath, 17 July 2021
Why is this process so disruptive? Why does it create such upheaval and stark divisions in my relationships with others?
Today I am considering my path and the unlikelihood of others taking a similar path. In other words, I don't expect people to jump on board. As part of this, I'm considering the broader human issue of why people tend to double down on their opinions and beliefs, even when presented with evidence that there are flaws in their belief systems.
For me to abandon the familiar way of life and basic belief system and then immerse myself in a completely different lifestyle and belief system, some things had to happen:
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I had to be terribly uncomfortable with my inner and outer existence. It had to get so miserable/frustrating/painful inside my own head and heart that I couldn't ignore it anymore, or even cope with daily living (my “outside world”).
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I had to believe the culture I was in wouldn't change soon enough for there to be appreciable benefits to me. If there was going to be “quick” reform, it had to be in me.
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I had to disentangle my identity, my whole sense of self, from its mostly-false foundation.
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I had to explore the origins of my definitions of what a “good” daughter, sibling, and person were. Then I had to abandon the false aspects of those original definitions and accept the true, Biblical ones.
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I had to accept radical concepts which are contrary to modern thought. I had to make U-turns in my thinking and opinions about many concepts to bring them in line with the new standard.
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I had to believe there was enough incentive to do all this – that there would be dividends.
Basically, the whole process has been one of destruction and reconstruction. Several fundamental tenets of my life had to be pried apart, utterly abandoned, then a new structure rebuilt, figuratively speaking. Some of the old was used in constructing the new, but it all had to be picked apart whether I kept it or not.
My identity, my sense of self, was tied up in how well-established I was in the group. The choices I made were tangled up in the group's teachings of right and wrong and success and failure. It was the same for any member. You're a good kid if X and Y happens in your life. You're a good parent if your kids behave this way or that way, or make these kinds of choices instead of those kinds.
The point is – this process challenges all of that. When you step up to the indomitable walls of reality and “GOD said _________,” there's no arguing and getting anywhere with it. There's no “But but but! I want this other thing to be true instead! I'm special! Exempt me!”
Facing all that reality often means we have to also face this other truth: “I made some mistakes.” When that happens, and our identity and self-worth and “okay-ness” are so tied up in the idea we did it right and couldn't have possibly got it so wrong.... That is some serious stuff to come to terms with. Therefore, major personal upheaval ensues.
I went through that. I still go through that, on a smaller scale, because I'm still human, and I still encounter false thoughts to challenge.
Yes, I can get frustrated with humans' complacency. Why aren't more people jumping at the chance to find out whether what they've got is REAL? But I also get it. There is a deep existential fear associated with upending everything you think matters, with not knowing what you're going to have left when it's over.
I went through it, but that doesn't make me special. I just got fed up enough that it was my only option. It was TOTALLY WORTH IT. I hope I always choose truth over staying in familiar fallacy. But I get that expecting many folks to willingly go through that kind of upheaval is, well, unrealistic. People are more often than not going to shy away from a path that requires them to examine and perhaps abandon what they've based their whole selves and lives on. They are more likely to dig in and hold harder onto what they've got.
When somebody DOES embark on this process, especially when it involves moral beliefs, AND those beliefs guide our relationships, then other people are gonna be affected. While it would be “nice” (by modern society's standards) to just only change me and not affect anybody else, obeying GOD has always1 included how and whether we interact with others. Cue upheaval and divisiveness!
Truth reigns and light overcomes darkness.
Forever.
References:
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Ezra 6:21-22 And the children of Israel, which were come again out of captivity, and all such as had separated themselves unto them from the filthiness of the heathen of the land, to seek the LORD God of Israel, did eat, (22) And kept the feast of unleavened bread seven days with joy: for the LORD had made them joyful, and turned the heart of the king of Assyria unto them, to strengthen their hands in the work of the house of God, the God of Israel.
Ezra 10:10-12 And Ezra the priest stood up, and said unto them, Ye have transgressed, and have taken strange wives, to increase the trespass of Israel. (11) Now therefore make confession unto the LORD God of your fathers, and do his pleasure: and separate yourselves from the people of the land, and from the strange wives. (12) Then all the congregation answered and said with a loud voice, As thou hast said, so must we do.
Psalm 1:1 Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.
Proverbs 9:6 Forsake the foolish, and live; and go in the way of understanding.
2 Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
Revelation 18:4 And I heard another voice from heaven, saying, Come out of her, my people, that ye be not partakers of her sins, and that ye receive not of her plagues.