written 3rd day, 22 June 2021
How does a person live through a religious Closed, High-Demand Group experience, escape from it, and decide to go back to believing in GOD again?
First, I'm reluctant to say I “went back” to anything. The way I practice faith these days is so different from what I was taught and how I was raised. Also, it's different from a lot of modern-day, feel-good, hand-me-down “Christian” ideologies. My own brain still thinks it's kind of a radical way of living.
However, there absolutely is mental effort required to disentangle the false doctrines of childhood from the truth about GOD, and to sort out all my feelings surrounding the whole thing. I don't claim to know the single-answer key to settling this. For me, it's been a process, like most of the rest of it. It's not over. Here, I wanna write about a few things that help.
First, I find that keeping things as simple as possible helps. I'm a “big picture” thinker. I can get lost in mental analysis of big ideas (and enjoy it!), and I find simplicity really helps me. When I can actually implement practical concepts in my daily life, instead of spiritualizing everything into abstract ideas and feelings, I feel much more secure and confident.
After I physically left the group I was raised in, I pretty much abandoned the idea of GOD (a sovereign, all-knowing, powerful, supreme Being). I was a hurting, hurting person. I didn't trust any consolidated Christian group besides the one I came from. If the one I came from wasn't going to work for me (it apparently wasn't and I was majorly emotionally torn up about that), then I didn't want anything else.
I've talked about my transition period before, so I won't rehash it in depth here. I had given up on GOD. I was trying all sorts of pagan, idolatrous methods. I believed in a universal Source of everything (we're all made of stardust, we're all spiritual beings, et cetera) but beyond that I wasn't sure about much.
I was miserable and frustrated. I know now I probably didn't have the developmental wherewithal to create what I wanted at that point in my life. I wanted so desperately to be independent and grown-up but I just didn't have the foundation to do it, even though I was trying. Gracious, was I trying.
Anyway. The whole point is that when I sent out a cry to the Universe – and I didn't give it any more direction than that – for help, the bargain was I'd accept the help however it came, whoever it was. When it came, it (he) had undeniable ties to GOD.
Well, crap. There went my “rejecting GOD” plan.
So, I accepted this man's testimony of his GOD-experiences as truth. I had absolutely zero to lose, and I was so physically and everything-ly at the end of my rope that I had just about everything to gain. I embarked on this great experiment. (Even though I was raised to SUBMIT SUBMIT SUBMIT, and I still default to that when bullied or pressured or frightened; I also default to be SUPER distrustful.)
The experiment was based on this, basically: “Let GOD be true, but every man a liar.”1 Meaning, I would accept the Bible as a true account of Father GOD's will and plan for humanity. Period. If it said He did horrible stuff, I'd believe it. If it said He did wonderful stuff, I'd believe it. I wouldn't interpret it. I wouldn't change it to fit the way I wanted the world to be. I would accept it. I would live it.
This has simplified life considerably. Studying and believing the Bible for what it says, not for justification for my life, was life-changing:
Your word is settled forever in the heavens?2
Okay.
Your commandments and laws (Yours, not the law of sin and death) are still in effect?3
Okay.
I'm not supposed to eat food offered to idols (like Christmas candy, or food made or sold for other pagan holidays which are held to honor lies)?4
Okay. No problem.
I'm supposed to give money or food or clothing or all three when I'm asked, without judging whether the asker is going to use it appropriately or even really needs it?5
Okay.
I'm supposed to separate from people who call themselves believers yet are living in opposition to what You ask believers to do?6 Wow. Whew. I love these people!
But.... Okay.
See? Practical. Simple.7 I'm actually living out my faith in the practical, modern, day-to-day. There are some abstract things, too, but way more practicality than the old way.
I love anything that takes the false pressure off. I don't gotta figure it out anymore. GOD already did. I just get to accept and obey, or deny and disobey.
Simple.
Thank You, Father GOD, for Your SIMPLICITY.
Notes & References:
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Romans 3:3-4 For what if some did not believe? shall their unbelief make the faith of God without effect? (4) God forbid: yea, let God be true, but every man a liar; as it is written, That thou mightest be justified in thy sayings, and mightest overcome when thou art judged.
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Psalm 119:89 LAMED. For ever, O LORD, thy word is settled in heaven.
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Psalm 119:1-6 ALEPH. Blessed are the undefiled in the way, who walk in the lawH8451 of the LORD. (2) Blessed are they that keep his testimonies, and that seek him with the whole heart. (3) They also do no iniquity: they walk in his ways. (4) Thou hast commanded us to keep thy preceptsH6490 diligently. (5) O that my ways were directed to keep thy statutes! (6) Then shall I not be ashamed, when I have respect unto all thy commandmentsH4687.
H8451 tôrâh tôrâh to-raw', to-raw'
From H3384; a precept or statute, especially the Decalogue or Pentateuch: - law.
H6490 piqqûd piqqûd pik-kood', pik-kood'
From H6485; properly appointed, that is, a mandate (of God; plural only, collectively for the Law): - commandment, precept, statute.
H4687 mitsvâh mits-vaw'
From H6680; a command, whether human or divine (collectively the Law): - (which was) commanded (-ment), law, ordinance, precept.
John 14:15 If ye love me, keep my commandments.
Revelation 22:14 Blessed are they that do his commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life, and may enter in through the gates into the city.
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Act 15:28-29 For it seemed good to the Holy Ghost, and to us, to lay upon you no greater burden than these necessary things; (29) That ye abstain from meats offered to idols, and from blood, and from things strangled, and from fornication: from which if ye keep yourselves, ye shall do well. Fare ye well.1Corinthians 10:18-20 Behold Israel after the flesh: are not they which eat of the sacrifices partakers of the altar? (19) What say I then? that the idol is any thing, or that which is offered in sacrifice to idols is any thing? (20) But I say, that the things which the Gentiles sacrifice, they sacrifice to devils, and not to God: and I would not that ye should have fellowship with devils.
Revelation 2:20 Notwithstanding I have a few things against thee, because thou sufferest that woman Jezebel, which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants to commit fornication, and to eat things sacrificed unto idols.
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Matthew 25:34-40 Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: (35) For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: (36) Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. (37) Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? (38) When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? (39) Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? (40) And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.
Luke 10:30-37 And Jesus answering said, A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead. (31) And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. (32) And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side. (33) But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him, (34) And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him. (35) And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee. (36) Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves? (37) And he said, He that shewed mercy on him. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.
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1Corinthians 5:11-13 But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat. (12) For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within? (13) But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.
Ephesians 5:5-11 For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. (6) Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience. (7) Be not ye therefore partakers with them. (8) For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light: (9) (For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;) (10) Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord. (11) And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.
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"Simple" DOES NOT (always) EQUAL "Easy"!